Vanity

Yes i could deliver a talk on dominants that are some what vain in corsets and hats but we are know they are pre-medonnas of sorts, so i will leave that alone. It could be a talk on vanities i have installed a few but really it is about how vain slaves are  especially me.

If we look at slaves real slaves they do not make themselves stand out they try to hide so they do not feel the lash but bdsm slaves well we want the feeling of slavery and the fefeel of the lash. We or at least i wish to be center of attention i use ridicule as comliments pain as a soft caress, we or at least i am wired a bit differently then vanillas.

I have stayed away from public play because of vanity. My body was not in the shape i wanted it to be in. A good dominant would see this and wold have coaxed me out focusing on the good things and not going near the things i wish to hide yet none were available so i sank a bit deeper into my vanity and shunned the idea of public play totally. Along with a flare up of neropathy in my hands so that they shook like a scared dove well i was thinking it was time to pack in the chains as i did not want to be seen like this. Another operations pending more scars more time having to lay around and wait to heal why bother.

I came to realize that was vanity speaking. Every part of me has been probed and felt. Parts have be humiliate other parts beaten and tied up. What was i to be vain about? Not being able to give my all? I think it is not living up to my expectations what i think i should be able to do. So is that not a form of vanity? hmmm