The unknown

The interesting thing for me about the lifestyle is the control part. Self control is a big part of it whether during a session or just in serving . Doing what one is told to do with out comments or question has always been hard for me in nilla life. So when extremes are asked of me in the lifestyle it is even harder for me( the brat arises). I can stand naked in front of a group of people or wearing a leather thong, but women's panties and I want to hide anywhere. When I changed the other night to the panties out of the leather thong it was like loosing all dignity. SO why did I go through with it? I was told to by one that I have accepted as having control over me, I did not argue or come up with a funny remark I did what I was told to do for the first time in along time. On Saturday I was a slave for 90% of the evening and I feel good about the self control that I had then. Can I do it again I do not know depends what is placed in front of me, how hard am I pushed. Do I want to be push? Yes I do, I am happiest when I am pushed and controlled. Where will this lead I do not know but it looks as if it will be fun yet different journey getting there than what I had thought of.