Anxious.

Anxious I think a word that has a lot to do with my excitement as a slave. The anxious behaviour of some of my friends in High School when they had to run th gauntlet of bullies. They seemed to gather at the end of the school yard where the major gatye was and you would have to pass through the jeers and insults . Well my friends did I was usually larger then most of the bullies so I was left alone. I felt as if I was missing something why did they get the attention and not I? Though I am sure that any one of them would have traded with me in an instant to escape the rather of the bullies. Then again at times I would have loved to been given wedgies or taken under the football stands to be spanked or stripped. To feel the total lack of control over a situation to be made to enjoy my humiliation.

The anxious behaviours of slaves as they prepare for their dominants to arrive seems rather delightful. Checking every ting twice knowing that something will be found wrong. So much easier and far more exciting to be punished then ask to be spanked. Asking does not give the feeling of spontaneity the idea of no control that some one else doing what they want to you for their pleasure gives me. I am forced to enjoy myself forced to enjoy the strap and limited strength other wise not felt when asking to be spanked or strapped.
I get the same anxious feeling from being in the garage naked with my nipples attached to the garage door and I am sort of visible. I am open to discovery the control is sort of out of my hands at this time and I can drift off to thinking how wild it would have been to be bullied by the possibility of being caught. Perhaps not as enjoyable as being in the clutches of a bully if I was a teenage student but at this age the fantasy is exciting.