An absence of thought

In conversation wit friends the idea of of writers block came up. Anyone that writes experiences or has at least once in their lives the frequency of writing goes hand in hand with the episodes of writers block I feel. Reasons for it vary amongst all of us for me there are two major ones I do not feel like writing or I do not feel my writing of late has been worthwhile . Another key for most writers is their readers do not appreciated or at least the authors do not feel their work is appreciated.

The last tow are the same with slavery one must feel appreciated for the slavery offered . This is my block now I have a switch block I no longer enjoy the hunt as prey as I am not pursued. What I have I feel is not appreciated nor wanted. It could be age or at least that I come from a very different age. It could be I see every thing through two sets of eyes. Most Dominants do not live up or come any where near my expectations for them. I believe that is caused because I am a switch. So many times I see a Dominant with their slave and I have to hold back from slapping them upside the head. A lot of my meetings with Dominants feels like back in the days of high school when so much time goes into strutting with their chests out spewing bravado on how great a Dominant they are that they forget importance of being just that a Dominant. The time they spend working up to being a Dominant they have wasted their energy on not being rejected or how to ask rather then just asking for your slavery. I find it is usually the Dominant that looses the slave not the other way around. The Dominant become complacent once they have one, almost set in their ways while the slave wants to experience more. No I am sorry wrong words the slave wants to be forced to experience more. They want tougher rules and tasks to aspire to. A word of note to Dominants, the easiest thing to do is make demands or slap some ones ass, the hardest is to make them enjoy it and want more. That you have to listen because, yes this is going to be a shock Dominants are not all knowing to be a good Dominant in my books is they have to listen more than talk , they have to question more than answer!

I as a slave never want to be known as a well trained slave that for me would mean all I can learn from this Dominant has been accomplished. My journey would then be over that would be sad. When I Dom I set very strict rule's break them and the relation is over and I would have to say as a slave I set very strict rules on respect and communication break them and the relation is over. Some relationships are limited by outside issues mine is therefore the need for strict rules.

While in the past my lifestyle was of a great help as an escape it is now becoming a drudgery. What I see around me is a lifestyle of style and glitz and not a lot of the experiences that I am or was seeking. I would guess that my expectations are set too high my sense of adventure does not correspond to others in the lifestyle and the bases I work on of the lifestyle is out of whack for the times.

My thoughts now bring me to a point where I want to with draw for the more public venues of Alt and probably Collarme sites I have met some good friends there but all have gone to Fet life and that I will retain. I have stopped going out to clubs and events just do not find them interesting anymore I guess. I think I am just tired of the hunt , exposing myself to the lifestyle without receiving the pleasure that I seek. I will use writing as an outlet for me and my friends for good conversation perhaps some play but I will be taking a sabbatical and leave drakor rest for a while . I intend to continue writing on my other blogs mostly darklights vision much less demanding you could say.