Rainy days , old memories and new questions

As I remember back to the early 70's my first experience with a male he was very much into a ore physical cbt you could say. I was brought to his club by a Domme that I was very interested in . She gave me to him for an hour of play to pay for our entrance into the club. He enjoyed catch the penis between his big toe and the next one pulling up while grinding the testicles with his foot. Along with a small 6 inch ruler and a leather strap penis size he made my testicles and penis wish they had stayed home. For the last little while he not so gently kneaded my already painful testicles and penis, followed by a sound spanking and several fingers in my anus. This was all done in front of the Domme I was trying to impress so I had accept this outrage on my person by another man.. Sadly to say I could not perform later that evening for her so it was all for not.. I do remember the humiliation of having a Man do this to me in front of a women but I also remember how skillful he was and how dominated I felt. At first I felt outraged that I allowed it, then shame and embarrassment that I might be a homosexual as i had deep down enjoyed the session.

I would guess that I have changed my views since then of the lifestyle as more Master / slave rather than anything to do with gender. Certainly the experience stayed in my mind far more than many others I think because it involved both genders and my concept at the time of homosexuality and what man can do to another man. I wonder if I had my first experience now the same sort of experience if it would be more acceptable to me and less humiliating?

Just some thoughts on a rainy day